I’m officially back and work and not as depressed about it as I thought I’d be. Maybe it’s the Alzam working but after having a terrible festive I’m glad to be back in the office and being productive.
My holiday was as bad as I expected. I was down in the dumps plus I got paid a few K less than usual because I had to take unpaid leave. That meant no money to go out and get over the blues. I really missed my dad and I don’t enjoy going home anymore. My feelings are extra sensitive so my sisters and mum piss me of constantly.
The upside is that I got to see some family and friends and booze it up a bit. Plus I got to spend a lot of time my little Stitch. We bonded and I realised how much I missed him. However I have just remembered why I could never be a stay at home mum. All that cooking and cleaning and running around after a screaming toddler drove me insane!
Christmas and New Years was awful but the worst is over and now I need to starting getting over it all. I allowed myself to dwell and to grieve but I’m not one for feeling like this. It unsettles me and I don’t know how to deal with being in such a negative space.
The start of the new year has been a different one for me. usually I’m all for ‘out with the old and in with the new’ but I just don’t have the energy this year. So I’ve decided not to make any new year resolutions. Instead I’m going to write some goals down, something more tangible besides my usual ‘go on a diet’ resolution. I need to take a good, hard look at my life and what I want to achieve. I feel aimless and I need to change this.
So to everyone who reads this I wish you a very happy new year, things have to get better, right?