We sat in the waiting room for what seemed likes ages. It was only about 3 hours but each minute seemed to drag on for eternity. Every time the theatre doors opened we’d rush up only to be disappointed. Eventually the surgeon came out to give us an update.
My father had a perforation on his colon. They had removed the abscess and drained 200 mls of puss out of it. They had also removed the infected part of his colon and reattached it to his stomach. His blood pressure had been dropping and they were afraid of losing him on the table so they stapled him back up and were trying to keep him stable. They put in a drain to pull out the fluid in his abdomen however his liver wasn’t functioning so there was a risk of infection. His kidneys and heart seemed to be doing ok and that was the main reason he had made it through the op.
A few minutes later they wheeled his bed passed us and I felt my legs give out. He looked terrible. They had put in a ventilator and intubator with about a dozen different tubes feeding into it. There was blood all over his sheets and his skin was pale. He was taken straight to ICU and they settled him in for the night. That night I had decided that I wasn’t going to go back to the hospital, I couldn’t bare to see him that way.The next day I changed my mind but that image of him still haunts me.
The ensuing week was a rollercoaster of emotions. His condition changed from one visit to the next. The initial problem was that he wasn’t waking up. He wasn’t sedated and he wasn’t in a coma, he just wouldn’t wake up and the doctors were very worried about why. The did a 24 hour brain scan and his brain activity was very low but they couldn’t explain it. We called out family priest to come and pray for him. There’s a prayer that we do to open his way, either to move on to another life or to get better. That was one of the hardest things I’ve every had to experience and I hope I never have to do it again.
In essence we were asking God to take him out of his misery, in which ever was best for him. How do you live with yourself when you are praying for something like that?