To say that it’s been a while since I blogged is an understatement. I used to love blogging and then it seemed like I had nothing interesting to blog about. It’s like being a mum suddenly made me boring! All I wanted to do was gush about my baby and motherhood. It got annoying actually so I just gave up on thinking of anything to write about. Big mistake!
Since I stopped blogging I’ve had no outlet for all the things that I’m feeling and experiencing. I feel like one big pent up ball of frustration! The past few months have changed me in so many ways and it’s almost like my mind can’t keep up with all the changes. My life is moving on but my being is lagging behind wondering what the hell happened! I want to rant and rave and complain without any feelings of guilt. I want to be able to openly express myself and I realized that this platform is the only way to do it.
Am I the only one that feels this way? And top of that I’ve lost touch with the few friends that I’ve made here. I can’t believe I was silly enough to let those relationships go. Its hard enough making new friends and here I had so many I just didn’t put any effort in. Granted, when I look back the beginning of last year all I can conjure up are images of a squealing baby, hospital visits, late night nappy changes and a depleted bank account. It feels like I’ve emerged from sort of dream world. You know those dreams where you need to run but it feels like you’re caught in a big bowl of jelly and that you have to fight for every step? Well for it feels like I’ve finally made it out of the jelly and everyone is ahead of me and I have to play catch up.
I don’t even know where all of this coming from. I’m just spewing random things out, I’ve got no thought process as this very moment. Interesting… I wonder where all this is coming from? It could be that I’m pretty restless and dissatisfied with lot in life at the moment. And money is definitely the root of all evil. I need a new job that pays better but I don’t want to move because my current job is pretty comfy, good hours, little pressure and a good team. But I’m making less this year than I did last year because of my pathetic increase which makes me stress and worry which keeps me up and night and makes me cranky and irritable and restless and it’s one negative circle that I’m spinning in.
Usually I’m all about positivity and looking on the bright side and being grateful for what I have blah blah blah. But that’s becoming harder and harder to do when you have to spread everything so thin. This post might be very pointless but it’s making me feel better lol There’s nothing like complaining into cyber space to make you feel better!