Anticipation

I opened my eyes in the morning and lay for a few seconds absolutely still. Have you ever had that feeling of things being surreal? You know that there’s something different about the day, something you’ve waited for for a long time, something that you’ve been so excited about that it doesn’t seem real and for a few seconds you can’t remember what that something is. And then… Bham! It hits you like a ton of rocks. You’re happy, excited, scared, and every other emotion all at the same time. You want to jump out of bed and carry the elation with you but at the same time you don’t want to move in case you Are actually dreaming and you certainly don’t wana wake up and spoil the dream. But lucky for me it wasn’t a dream!

 

After 4 months of stress, anxiety, depression and a plummeting confidence I finally see the light. I know I haven’t blogged for ages and that’s because I turned into a whiney, snivelling little misery. I was so negative I figured there was no use blogging until I have something positive to say and finally  I do!

Firstly I have finally found a job! It’s not permanent but it’s something. I’m an executive assistant for a very large financial firm, one of the best in the industry. Having this company’s name on my CV will do wonders for my career, the hours a brilliant and the salary is pretty good. ThHe ere are a few gliches but for now all I care about is the fact that I have a job, I’m out of the house and I’m using my brain again! It feels so good to be productive, to think and to do. I love sinking into bed in the evening know that I’m going to sleep, not lay awake worrying and stressing and feeling sick.

Secondly, and a few of you may know this already (from facebook) but I have had a successful pee test! He he he this time I got it right and missed my slippers and a few moments later the word ‘pregnant’ appeared on the little digital screen. This was 4:30 in the morning mind you so I couldn’t shriek out like I wanted to but I did a little happy dance anyway. Cas thought I was insane, he’s not much of a morning rabbit. I ran into the room to wake hubby and told him the good news. The look on his face was priceless. But all he did was roll back to sleep! An hour later he came out of the bathroom looking much more wide awake and tackled me while I was blow drying my hair. Ironically the exact same thing happened when he proposed except that I tackled him.

Two days later I went to my gynae and not only did he confirm that I am actually pregnant but that I’m 14 weeks along! That was most definitely a shock. But I didn’t have any obvious symptoms and the ones that I did have I attributed to stress from not having a job. So here I am, with a new job and a baby on the way. How’s that for good news?

 

P.S I’m happy to be back and will try my best to catch up with everyone soon!

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