Judgements

Have you ever had that moment where someone tells you something and in your head your little inner invoice is saying “SERIOUSLY?!! Wtf?!”  But you’re trying to keep your face from forming a matching expression, instead you’re trying to come up with a response that will not insult the person you’re having a conversation with. Yes, I’m sure you have!                        

So on Saturday I’m at the hair salon, my favourite place in the world to be, sipping on a cappuccino and waiting for my highlights to well… highlight? Anyway, in walks a friend of mine that I haven’t seen in ages. We schooled together but lost touch and now only keep track of each other’s live over Facebook. So we do the usual hugs and kisses and ‘small world’ speech and we get to talking. She tells me that she heard via the grape vine that I lost my job and she does the ‘sympathy’ speech. Then she says something that was weird. According to my posts on FB she says she would never have guessed the problems I was experiencing. I ask her what she means and she says something along the lines of how I’ve been going out for parties and socials and dinners and movies, etc. And to find me in the hair salon of all places? What am I thinking? Plus, and this got me the most, I look so good!

I think my ‘WTF?’ expression came through a bit because she says something along the lines of ‘but its your life…’ After thinking about it for a while I guess I see where she’s coming from. Someone who’s not working should not seemingly have a social life, how am I affording it? Also, if I am out and about I’m just wasting what precious little money I do have. And then, to get my hair done on top of it! How dare I?! The part about being shocked that I’m supposedly looking good threw me though. Am I supposed to be dressed in tracks and a dirty top with no make-up and jewellery on? Should I have bags under my eyes with a huge visible weight loss? And should I be putting up mysterious status updates on FB about how life if going to get better?

And I’ve gotten this reaction a few times. I guess it’s human nature to take cover and hide when times are tough. But I think it’s a bit harsh to expect me to sit in my room, under the covers until I find a new job. In fact, going out with my friends and family is the reason that I don’t have bags under my eyes. I’m dealing with the stress in my own way and I’m not spending money unnecessarily. I just refuse to hide form the world. Is that so wrong?

Other than that little rant things have been more or less the same. I haven’t blogged much mostly cos I’ve had nothing much to say but also because it takes up a lot of energy these days. That sounds bad when I could spend hours blogging and reading posts but now I just can’t muster up the energy to do it.

On the interview front, I’m still getting about an interview a week. I was offered a position but turned it down, it was shift work, the latest one ending at 12:00 at night with working on weekends and public holidays. I supposed I could have adapted but Hubby wasn’t too happy with me driving out of JHB CBD at 1:00 on the morning. I’ve got enough to keep going for the next 6 months or so, I just hope I didn’t make a bad decision.

I hope everyone in blog land is doing well, I’m sorry I haven’t kept up with you guys but I’ll try!

 

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2 thoughts on “Judgements

  1. You should be ashamed of yourself!!!
    I can handle the money spent – if you can, why the hell not?
    But I can’t handle you not blogging young lady!
    Seriously!! WTF! How on earth are we supposed to be supportive if we have no idea what’s potting?
    Don’t worry about people – they will each have their own opinion, and some will not hesitate to let you know it 😉

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