Am I a bad person?

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a ‘senstive soul’ as my mum says. I’m usually the girl who tears up during sad movies and if I’m pmsing I can even cry during some ad’s! When I was younger my parents stopped me from watching movies with any sort of child abuse because I’d end up howling and it would stay with me for a few days.

Yesterday I was in my car and stopped at a robot and noticed a child begging in the middle of the lanes. This is not an unusual occurance in JHB but this child caught my attention. It’s blistering hot and he’s sitting on his knees on the hot tar holding up a cardboard sign asking for money. His face looked incredibly pathetic with his eyes downcast. When the cars had stopped he looked up and made eye contact with some of the drivers. I felt this quesy feeling in my stomach and tears in my eyes. I scrounged around for change and gave him what I could.

One robot later I saw another child, samer scenario, just this one was sitting full on the tar. Another robot down, same thing and for two robots after that. By this time I was seething. The whole thing was an act that these kids had adopted to make people feel even more sympathetic towards them. As a rule I very rarely hand out money to strangers, I’d prefer to give them food. I was once dubbed by a supposedly ‘blind’ guy at the robots at the following day I found him at the flea market hustling pool. After that I learnt my lesson.

These young boys had either come up with this ‘scheme’ on their own or someone taught them this. What made me mad is that they were deliberatly manipulating people in their own way. I know that they need money, they are probably living on the streets and struggling for food but I find it very upsetting the manner in which they chose to beg. I can’t explain why exactly, I can’t really put it into words but once what they did made me want to cry even more. Does this make any sense?

I have not objections to giving money to the guys who carry around bin bags offering a place for you get rid of the junk in your car. Or to the guys who dance at the street corners. I’ll even give money to the guys who forcibly wash your windscreen in Eastgate. Why? Because they are making some sort of attempt to ‘earn’ that money instead of just holding out a board. There’s one guy I’ve seen a few times, he’s always got something clever or witty on his board. My favourite was “Need money for karate school, wife has been kidnapped my ninjas.” Or he has some sort of bible verse or random fact. I’ll give him money any day, he’s providing a form or entertainment.

So I’ve decided I’m going to not contribute to these pathetic looking children. Does this make me a bad person? I also don’t give money to the ladies at the corners with the babies, I think that is the cruelest thing you can do to a child, to make them suffer in the sun for the whole day without food, water or toilet facilities just to gain more sympathy. It makes my blood boil!

But who’s to say that I won’t be in the same situation one day? And that I won’t resort to all sorts of schemes to make money? It’s a tough life and some people are worse of than others. This has been bugging me since I saw them… Any advice?

On the interview front, yesterdays interview went incredibly well. I got a call from my agent in the afternoon letting me know that I’ve made it through to the next round of interviews, I’ll finally be meeting the person who I’ll hopefully be working for! Plus I don’t have to wait for the interview, it’s already been set up for monday morning. I’m taking this as a really positive sign! They want the successful candidate to start immediatley so hopefully by next week this time I’ll have a job!

I was supposed to go to my ex company today, the ladies have been nagging me to come in because I left so soon but I made the decision not to go. I’m in a really good space right now and I don’t want that to change and going back there will definitely bring me down! I only just learnt that the ladies were planning a surprise belated farewell for me and had bought me a gift! it’s really sweet of them, I’m glad that I left some good feelings behind and that I was valued enough for them to go through the effort. I’ve decided that I’ll organise drinks or something on a friday evening, outside of work. we can still meet but out of that environment.

I’ve got a good weekend to look forward to. I’m meeting a friend for lunch and drinks and then meeting more friends for supper later. On sunday I’m going for a wedding. I’ve got this absolutely gorgeous new sari that I’ve been dying to wear so this gives me the perfect opportunity.

Have a good weekend guys, be good, it’s friday!

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One thought on “Am I a bad person?

  1. I’m so glad the interview went well Ric!!!
    As for the begging kids, or any kind of beggar – if I have I’ll give. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. I’m getting closer to a stage where I’m tired of being called upon to look after other people when I can’t always look after myself. It’s the government’s job to look after everybody and they get more than enough money from in in taxes to do just that.
    Not my responsibility anymore. Maybe I’m a bad person then too, but so be it.
    Enjoy the weekend!

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