V-Day haters

I hate this time of the year! Well, actually just Valentine’s Day and I don’t hate the day itself, I hate that the fact that it’s not celebrated in my relationship. My husband is one of ‘those guys’. He believes that it’s just a big waste of money and that he shows me that he loves me every other day of the year so why should he be forced to do it on that day.

I get his argument however my point is, if you can show me every other day why make a point to make my feel unloved on this one specific day? And yes, I acknowledge that he’s awesome and he spoils me and he knows how to treat me but damnit I’m a woman and I want roses on Valentine’s Day! Is that too much to ask for? And I don’t care about cost, expensive, cheap, it all means the same to me. For me, it’s actually about the receiving and giving. Even though he doesn’t like the day I still make a point of getting him a little cup cake or make something extra special for supper or putting his favourite sweets on his pillow and get into something sexy before bed. I know he enjoys it so does he pretend that he doesn’t? I’d love a letter or Sweetie Pie from the BP or even a flower from the garden for heaven’s sake!

When I was younger I always celebrated V-Day. My dad would get us all chocolates or the family would have a nice supper together. In school I’d make those homemade cards for my friends and when I was a teenager I’d get a thrill every time I received a gift from a guy. Eventually I moved on to the fancy dinners and candle light with a special someone and I loved every second of it. When I was single my friends and I would all go out for supper and the boys would buy us roses, we’d love it because it was special.  I understand that commercial things don’t count, it’s about spending time with loved ones and taking the time out to make them feel loved and needed. So what if that’s easier with a fancy wrapped package from a gift store at the mall? The end result is what counts.

I’m a traditional female. You can sucker me with sweet words and gifts and compliments. Who doesn’t like to feel special? In my books flattery will get you everywhere! So why, on this one day, when everyone else is getting roses delivered to work and preparing for fancy suppers should I suffer? I don’t care if I sound childish, I hate it! There’s been a few times in our relationship where other guys have sent me gifts for V-Day and instead of being jealous he’s actually glad because that lets him of the hook! The nerve!

So this year I’m adopting his attitude and boycotting V-Day. My girlfriends and I have a fun even planned. I’ll be slipping on a sexy dress accompanied by a pair of killer heels and he will definitely not by seeing the lingerie that I intend on spoiling myself with. It’s all about me this year!

 

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18 thoughts on “V-Day haters

  1. Each to their own I say… I am also a hater of V day… especially because it is a money making scheme… with the price of flowers and dinner and chocolates, I’ll just skip it and go out on the weekend when the prices are back to normal instead. 😉

    Although, I see your point in why you want to be spoiled.

  2. V-Day was unknown here in Germany until maybe 20 years ago. Its the flowers and chocolate industries who are pushing it (with some success). But it is not part of the culture I come from.
    I first learnt about it in the first year of being together with my first (now ex-) wife. One day she was very angry and I had no idea why. It turned out she had expected flowers. I had never heard of V-day ever before in my life but where she came from, it was something everybody did. So she thought that my claiming not to know about it was just and excuse (she had not been in Germany for very long). One of these situations in multicultural relationships where what goes without saying on one side is totally unknown on the other, so you get a big misunderstanding and fight for nothing. The trouble is, you never know where these things are lurking.
    What saved me was that she called my mother and complained to her about it and my mother also had never heard about V-Day before in her life. Only then she believed me.
    I think it is a very commercial thing and I think you should just ignore it. If he buys flowers because its V-Day and because you expect them on that day, then he does not buy them out of love but out of fear of your anger. That creates a small scratch in the relationship. Just let him surprise you from time to time instead.
    By the way, most flowers are produced and transported in ways that harm the environment. I never buy flowers now (in summer, I grow some myself on my veggy patch).

    1. I like the idea of having a random day dedicated to showing your loved ones how much you care about them. Like I said, Í don’t care about the expense, it costs nothing to write a letter after all. And never would I be angry at him over something like this, disappointed maybe, but never angry. I’d like to think of it rather that instead of fearing my wrath by doing something special that day he’d be doing it because he cares about me and what matters to me. Its about compromise and for the past 9 years of our relationship I haven’t even asked anything of him on this day, I’m just expressing my need for some acknowledgement of our relationship. And when we have kids I want them to enjoy the day as well like I did when I was younger, I don’t want them to take the cynical route of ‘it’s all just a money making scheme’ because then the same thing can be said for Easter or Diwali or Christmas. I like to pleasure from the small things in life.

      1. 🙂 Some celebrations (like Christmas and Easter) have very special meanings for me, not so much in a religious sense but as a family thing, so I understand your point. Maybe the way I got introduced to the V-Day (as described) caused me to have a personal aversion against it (lol).

  3. You really are a spoilt brat, aren’t you 😉
    Even though I’m not a big fan of V-day, I hear what you say.
    It does not have to be much or cost the earth, but a token will be welcomed 😉
    Go out and enjoy your heels and GF time!!

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