“Nooit bru! Bokkie, is that you?!” I turn around and see the biggest, reddest, most masculine guy walking towards me. My eye sight being not so good I waited for him to come closer before responding. “Bokkie, I can’t like to believe it!” He exclaims once again. He comes up to me and literally lifts me off my feet and I was sure he was going to squeeze the guts out of me! It was only then that I remembered who this incredible hulk of a guy was, only one man that I know gives hugs like that!
He is an old friend of mine from a place that I worked at when I was about 20. I was there for about 6 months and he was the only other young person in the company so we became firm friends. He called me Bokkie because at first he couldn’t pronounce my name, then because he was too lazy and eventually as a term of affection.
A weirder friendship I’ve never had. He’s a big, Afrikaans bloke from Krugersdorp but he’s mum is German so he’s blonde and crazy, my favourite type! Lol He has a thick Afrikaans accent but throws in a German word every so often. He’s incredibly well-mannered and has very handsome ways. He used to open doors for me and pull out chairs that type of stuff. For the few months that we worked together we went on lots of adventures together. He was a raver, something I definitely was not but he’d drag me to these ‘underground’ rave parties where everyone was either high or just scary. Whenever we’d go to one of these things his female friends would dress me up in leather and cover me in glow in the dark jewellery and lots of dark make-up. I probably looked sooo weird. An Indian chick attempting to party it up with these hard core druggers.
Sometimes we’d go to random pubs where we’d sing karaoke and drink beer. He and I would sing a duet and we’d kick ass with “I got you babe”. And I’ll never forget the time he taught me how to do the ‘Langarm’, a traditional, Afrikaans, ballroom type of dance. I remember him literally sweeping me off my feet and it was so much of fun.
In return he came with me for a few Bhangras, an Indian styled club party where a mix of Bollywood and English songs are played. And he never disappointed, he’d try and sing along and after watching a few Bollywood movies with me he’d even learnt some movies. I’d cook batches of really strong curry for him and laugh when he turned red and sweated.
At other times we’d simply sit on the stairs after work and chat until traffic eased up. He told me about the year he spent in German army when he turned 18 and about how strict his parents were with who he dated. I’d tell him about how I was struggling with balancing work and studies and how afraid I was of disappointing me parents. He’d introduce me to his many girlfriends and look for my approval. He was very over protective and never let any one of his friends date me, we had lots of fights of that one! I’d make him lunch every day and he’s buy me chocolates and flowers and random little presents that he knew I loved and we both enjoyed each other’s company.
Then the inevitable happened. I resigned and was moving on to another job. We said that we’d keep in touch and we did, for a few months but eventually it fizzled out. He sent me flowers once for my birthday but it’s been years since we’ve seen or spoken to each other. He taught me a lot and helped me ‘grow up’ a bit. And 6 months of friendship that we thought would last forever ended.
So when I saw him yesterday it was a really nice surprise. He’s still big and buff, still gyms like a maniac and still plays the guitar. He’s finally found a girl that his parents approve off and they’ll probably get married soon. He refuses to hear about my husband and has given me his number so that I can call if I ever need anyone to beat up Hubby! Lol We talked about all the nonsense we had gotten up and to and exchanged news on friends or people that we both knew.
Eventually it was time to go, after an hour of chatting and we did the whole ‘we should meet up some time’ and ‘invite me on FB so we can keep in touch’ but we both know that’s never going to happen. Maybe he’ll wish me happy birthday and I’ll post something random on his wall but we’ll never be friends again. We’re both older and things that were easy to understand when we were younger will be harder now. He’s just one of many people in my life that will be there for just a moment, someone I’ll remember fondly but would have no desire to rekindle a relationship. How many of these people come in and out our lives that will only become a distant memory if they’re lucky? I suppose on the bright side I can now dance the Langarm like a pro!