I’m standing there, watching sis mouth move up and down, looking at his eyes and I can practically see the lies floating in the air towards me. I know he’s lying, he knows he’s lying but no one else in the room does. He says it with such confidence that I wonder for a second if he actually believes everything that he’s saying. I begin doubt myself. As he continues talking I feel my shock turn into anger. I deal with my anger by crying, I can’t help it. It took all of my strength to not allow the tears to stream down my face. My hands were shaking and I had to clutch them into a tight fist to prevent anyone from seeing.
I’m talking about my boss. He tends to make silly decisions based on his mood at the time and then a few weeks later it tends to bit him in the ass. He’s not really the type of person who takes accountability for his actions, he’d rather blame others and that’s usually his staff. Since he’s started working here 6 people have left and he’s fired 2, 1 lady who was with the company for 25 years and was set to retire this year. Anyway, one of his bad decisions has cost the company R100 000 and guess who he’s blaming? Lucky I’ve got proof to back myself up but I’m sure he’ll find a way around it.
Usually we get along pretty well but recently he’s been terrible. I’m not sure if he’s having personal issues but he’s very moody and I’ve learnt to stay out of his way most of the time. I’m reaching the stage where I’m dreading leaving home in the morning. The very thought of coming to this office makes me so depressed that I sometimes consider faking an illness and taking a sick day. Lucky I haven’t reached that stage yet and I hope I don’t. I do have to give him his dues, I’m not the type of employee he’s used to, I jump when he says so, I refuse to be his tea lady and I refuse to back to down if I know I’m in the right. I take accountability for my fcuk-ups but I also want acknowledgement when it’s due. I’m not very traditional but I like the way I am.
My boss is a bully, he doesn’t listen to what you have to say and he talks over you. Time and again he’s made a decision based on his own opinion and not what’s the best course of action. He has this plastic pipe in his office that he threatens me (in a joking way which I don’t find funny) with all the time and I get so defensive when he does. He stands across his desk and reaches out and pushes this bloody thing on my face. I can explain how intimidating that is! I hate that he makes me react that way. I’ve learnt to deal with his moods and move on but now it seems like my job is in jeopardy.
He’s an intelligent man and he didn’t get so high up the food chain by being stupid, that’s what scares me. My worst fear is being fired, it’s never happened to me before and I don’t think my pride could handle it. So I’ve decided to not to anything about him, all I can do is look for another job. He’s the type that will find a way to get rid of me. I can’t go to HR either because they’re pretty good friends so I know I won’t get anywhere. I’ve never been the type to back down so I’m very confused right now. But if you stand up to him he’ll just beat you down. I’ve learnt that the best way to deal with him is to just do what he says and take the inevitable negative consequences.
I’m not usually so negative but I’m losing my confidence here and I’m scared. I don’t know what to do and I have to vent somehow.