Do you have friends of the opposite sex? Does your partner know about them? Is it taboo to have friends of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship or married? I was having this argument with a cousin of mine. We were just relaxing on Friday night when a good friend of mine called to say he was in the area and did I wana meet up, I declined because my pj’s were too comfortable but we proceeded to have a good long chat.
Once I was done on the phone my cousin gave me the third degree about him and him inviting me out and me keeping in contact with him. Needless to say I was shocked at her attitude. Just because I’m married I’m not allowed to have friends? Her theory is that males and females can’t ‘just be friends’, it always leads to more. I find that immature. The only way it would lead to more is if you want something more.
I’ve tons of friends, both male and female. All of them know my husband and have socialised with him. On occasion we meet up for a meal or drinks without our partners just to have a bonding session. We talk about issues we’re both experiencing, knock back a few shooters and go off feeling better about having them out lives. And I don’t restrict my flirting to just males, I’ve had a turn at experimenting with my sexuality and I’ve made good friends through that process. My husband is always aware of where I am and who I’m with. He’s fine with it because he has the same sort of relationships all with women I know and like.
Then she says I flirted with him and how dare I do that if everything is so innocent? Apparently my behaviour could be perceived as Slutty. I literally laughed out loud. Her idea of flirting is me mentioning how sexy his skinny legs are. I proceeded to explain that I am guilty of flirting on occasion; my friends probably flirt back and know which context I mean it in. If I flirt with a stranger it never goes beyond one wise crack cos I’m probably never going to see that person again. And I don’t ever flirt in the work place. She says I’m leading people on. I’m an adult, so are the people I talk to.
I do admit that things can go far but I have never let it. I have never been in the situation where my flirting has led anywhere, I am happily married and everyone knows that. But her arguments made me think about it. Am I sure that I’m not taken seriously? What if my harmless comments are taken the wrong way? Am I naïve?
I love making friends, male and female, virtual and ‘real’. I have many friends that I’ve never even met before but I BBM, email, Facebook and sms them. I have lots of friends that I do none of that with; instead I’d go to a play with them or for a dinner. Other friends I go clubbing with or invite over for a braai. Human relationships have so many facets, why do I need to limit them?
What’s your opinion? Would you mind if I commented on your sexy legs?