Out with old and all that jazz

My eyes opened and I lay in my bed for a moment or two wondering what was different. I did an assessment and found that my head ached, my mouth was dry and the sun was really bright. I was obviously hung over on a week day! After a few minutes of lying there and waiting for the thumping above my eyes to subside I realised how quiet it was, too quiet. And then it dawned on me! It was Monday morning and the reason it was so bright was because I was usually at work at this hour. I was officially on holiday!!! Whoo hoo!!!!

And that, ladies and gents, is how I started my 3 weeks of bliss. It all went downhill from there of course. I was wonderfully carefree and I did everything my heart desired. I visited with family and spend time with the little ones. I swam and walked and jogged and danced. I slept late and read tons of books. I put favourite jams on full blast and cleaned the house in my undies. I had long bubble baths and got drunk on champagne. I went out drinking, eating, clubbing and braaing with friends. All in all it was a very satisfactory holiday.

I realised three things this holiday:

1. I could become very bored being at home!-  Yes, I admit it. I was not made for a life of leisure. Despite my moans and groans about working I don’t think I’ve been made for a life of leisure. This morning I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed and actually enthusiastic about coming back to work. I longed for the routine of my work weeks and enjoyed waking up early. By next week this time I’ll probably regret these words!

2. I need a purpose to my life.-  I don’t mean saving the world or feeding poor kids. I just need something to work towards. I’m constantly planning something, a holiday, a party, an event of some sort. And if there’s nothing to plan for a make a reason for something to come up. I’m not happy unless I have something to do, to look forward to. In December I tried to be chilled, no planning, just taking each day as it comes. I ended up being highly irritated. So this year I’m going to use my energies in a constructive way but towards what I don’t know. Last year was all about self-discovery and becoming more emotionally and mentally healthy. Now what? I have to think on this one.

3. I am way too dependent on my best friend. She was away for three weeks and at first I was lost without her. This is the longest we’ve been apart (sounds cliché) and it was maddening. However the one good thing that came out of it was that I was forced to spend time with my other friends. Friends that I didn’t even know I missed. I was also feeling very childish feelings, I resented that she went away for so long and that she was apparently having a good time without me and I was determined to enjoy myself without. I came to realise that I was just jealous that I was stuck at home while she was partying it up with other people. I think this year I’m going to try and be more independent, do some things by myself, become more self-reliant.

Oh! And I got a new tattoo. It’s an Aum sign on my right wrist. I don’t really like the way it looks so I’m gona add to it but I’m psyched about it. That makes three in total.

All in all I’m in a pretty positive frame of mind. I’m liking how I’m feeling and I think I’m gona maintain this vibe for as long as possible.

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