When I was a teenager I attempted keeping a journal. I went and bought a beaurtiful A5 one with a lock and key and matching pen. It had scented pages and I had a whole lot of these cute stickers and glitter on it with a big fat “Property of Ricari” written on it. That’s where my effort ended. I’m more of a talker. Getting a journal seemed all romantic. I imagined myself lying across my bed in my pj’s pouring my heart out into the pages while Toni Braxton played in the back ground and rain fell softly on my window. I’d be dropping a tear or two for my broken heart while smiling at the same time. I imagined myself reading the diaries I had accumulated as an adult and smiling at my youth while having flash backs and wishing I could go back to when I was innocent.
Ha! So much for that. My life wasn’t as exciting as the American dramas were and I soon lost interest. I’d rather be out kissing boys than writing about imagining kissing them, that’s reality for you. But now that I’m older and wiser (funneee) I realise the value of writing down your thoughts. The fact that I’m blogging about this is very ironic. I think now I’m better able to put my thoughts into words. And getting it all out will help me Deal.
I’ve always been a talker, I express my feelings and emotions through words but lately I’ve kept my secrets very close. I talk to my husband of course but sometimes my thoughts are about him. I also don’t think its right to go gossiping to my gf’s about my problems when they have enough of their own. It seems selfish. This is of course not true for them, or anyone else for that matter. Everyone should talk about things, just not me.
This morning when I was talking to hubby about my keeping a diary I asked him if he would read it if he came across it. Surprisingly he said no! I scoffed at him, I mean; no human would pass by the opportunity. I know I would definitely read his if he had one. And yes, I know it’s wrong, and an invasion of privacy, I just wouldn’t be able to help myself.
Then he said something that made me back track. How would I feel if I read something that I was better of not knowing? Those private thoughts that I may not like for whatever reason. What if I read something that I misconstrued and it tore at our relationship? There’s many things that I think of that I don’t want anyone to know!
Do people still keep journals these days? And if you found your partner’s would you read it despite the consequences? I’ve changed my mind, I wouldn’t read it! And I think I’m better off blogging.